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 How To Photograph A New puppy:
- 1.Remove film from box and load camera.
- 2.Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
- 3.Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
- 4.Choose a suitable background for photo.
- 5.Mount camera on tripod and focus.
- 6.Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
- 7.Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
- 8.Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
- 9.Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
- 10. TAKE THE SHOT QUICKLY!!!
Top 10 Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Dog
1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.
2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.
3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don't even have to comb your own hair.
4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.
5. No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you're cute.
6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.
7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.
8. No one ever expects you to pay forlunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.
9. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.
10. Every garbage can looks like a coldbuffet to you.
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If a cockapoo were your teacher you would learn stuff like...
- When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
- Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
- Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your
face to be pure ecstasy.
- When it's in your best interest -- practice obedience.
- Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
- Take naps and stretch before rising.
- Run, romp, and play daily.
- Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
- Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.
- On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
- On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
- When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
- No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout... run right back and make friends.
- Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
- Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
- Be loyal.
- Never pretend to be something you're not.
- If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
- When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by
and nuzzle them gently ;-p
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Death Wish
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